There have been many times throughout my life when I have owed an apology to someone and I dodged it and them until the situation just….stopped. I find that I have a huge problem with admitting my faults and apologizing for the things I’ve done to those I love….or just like a little.
I heard via Facebook and through a “friend of a friend of a friend” that someone I used to spend a lot of time with had passed away. It was sudden and painless….I mean, as far as they know. I immediately felt a rush of blood, my ice cold blood pumping through my veins…I had hurt this person more than I think I’ve ever hurt anyone. I dreamed of a life together with him, we shared our hopes and we made plans to get away…..but I stood him up. I never spoke to him again, other than a letter he wrote me years later….he had moved on and I had made some attempt at a life. I sent him a Facebook message about a year ago, but it went unanswered. My apology was never sent, my regrets were never told to him, his letter was never acknowledged. I think, as humans, we think “there’s always tomorrow”….and usually there is and it all works out as it should; but every now and then you find yourself awake at 2am realizing that you had years of “tomorrows” and you never cared enough to write two words….two fucking words.

I’m sorry if:
*I’ve ever made you feel insignificant
*I lied to you
*I cheated you in some way
*I used you
*I hurt your feelings
*I crossed a line
*I broke your heart

Cori out.

One thought on “2:00am

  1. So sorry for your loss, and your chance to make it right. None of us are promised tomorrow Dear Cori Anne. Love you!

    Like

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