Written: 6/13/2014

ME

I'm too loud and I'm told I cuss too much.
I'm probably a bit too proud and I believe in chance, not luck.
My heart has been full at one moment and seconds later, broken.
Regret is my oldest friend, so many hateful and evil words I've spoken.
I am greedy, green with envy and somewhat needy.
I disregard my own advice, but if I offer it, it's worth heeding.
My tattoos are my novel, a biography, my body provides the pages;
etched on my skin is every misstep…told through pictures and phrases.
I've lied, I've stolen, I've mistreated and I've cheated;
I don't feel pity for the emotionally void and depleted.
A bully, possibly the anti-Christ, abused my body and raped my soul,
Internally beaten, I chose to rise; he can thank gun-control.
When a man steals away your naivety, you adapt to all the bullshit.
All I gotta do is lie, do a little hustlin'? I can be a bad bitch.
Daily, I'm torn between decency and self-help revenge, it's a sickness.
I've witnessed Hell firsthand so I'll make sure to beg forgiveness.
I've had many men, but I can't take back my promiscuity and immorality,
If God hung out with a whore, then I can squeak in on a technicality.
Some say I smoke too much, but the voice in my head says it's not enough.
Green Goddess minimizes my pain, relieves my ache but not my gruff.
I'm certain I've lost my goddamn mind. I've gotta be fucking crazy.
I should do some yoga, but that sounds like work and I'm just too lazy.
I know I often disappoint my mother, but the truth is…I'm content.
Time was wasted trying to appease, but clearly our bond is our dissent.
You don't want to see the things I've seen or hear the words I loathe.
FYI, I've heard them say only the strongest people turn grief into growth

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